The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
by Rosaceae
Summary: !BEWARE OF STOOPIDITY! ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK


Here's my poor attempt at a little bit of humor. Ever wondered what goes through Ganondorf's mind? Poor guy.

  
  


Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda.

  
  


Ganondorf and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

  
  


*sad music* _Ganondorf walks onto a black stage. He steps into the spotlight and wipes away a tear._

"It happened again. I lost. Again. No matter now hard I try, I can never, _never_ be evil enough to defeat Link. He kicks my ass, embarrasses me in front of my minions, and during all this, he still has time to walk around aimlessly in Hyrule field. Soon my minions will gain courage to rise against me too! I've lost total respect of _everyone_, even my horse, and don't get me started there. I just can't see how Link gets all the fame and all I get is defeat after defeat. It's just been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Everyone thinks Link is soooo hot just because he has muscles. Well I do too. And if you haven't seen that then you probably haven't seen how BIG my hands are. Hell, Link can barely hold the Biggoron sword and he still gets the girls. He has every available female in all of Hyrule. Let's see, there's that forest girl, although love should be illegal between those two, considering the age difference. And then there's the ranch girl, whose singing just plain creeps me out. Let's not forget Nabooru, the old one. There's Ruto, the fish gi...let's leave her out, shall we? And then of course, who could forget our favorite little princess, who is always seeming to bring Link into more dangerous crap everyday. How could that **blonde** outsmart me?! I'm getting too old for world domination.

Everyone always says good conquers evil, but when will the villain get his fifteen minutes of fame. They usually do but then they screw it up. If everyone could see the world from my angle, they'd shape up fast. It's hard and lonely at the top...or should I say bottom? So Link gets all the moral support, and medical support, and I'm left here to lick my wounds. But what you don't see is the soft, lovable Ganondorf deep inside. The one who likes picking wild flowers, taking long walks on the beach, and watching the home shopping network. That's the real me. I mean, come on, at least I visit my mom still. Link doesn't even know who his is. Looks like somebody slept around. 

So not only does Link get the girls, but that Sheik-kid follows him around too, so he also gets the guys. I mean, come on, he wears tights. What does that say? He must be pretty uncomfortable walking around. With my thighs, I can't fashionably pull tights off. Sometimes I put on tights and a green tunic, and sometimes I wear lipsti... but it's just not the same. Nothing is. Who could possibly love me? All creatures need lovin'.

Once you think about it, I'm not such a bad guy. People always look at the world domination thingy from a bad view. It can bring positive things too. Such as a theme based world. Picture this: Ganonworld. You'll have Ganondorf coffee mugs and teeshirts. They'll be action figures too! But that's just a dream. My life's a nightmare. It's just been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

So next time you're beating me in the game, or think you are, imagine everything from my perspective. You'll be amazed to know how complex my life is. You see, I'm just misundertood.

_Link springs across the stage, embracing Ganondorf in a crushing hug._

__"I love you man!"

  
  


-Rosaceae

  
  


Pure stupidity at its finest, eh? Wahahahaaa! The freakin' power broke down when I was in the middle of typing this, so I had to start over. Waaaaaaahhh! I think I'll give humor a rest. Well I hope you enj...........

  
  


_A SWAT team breaks in surrounding the author..._

  
  


Rosaceae- What seems to be the problem officers?

  
  


SWAT- Step away from the computer...that's it...slowly..slowly...

  
  


Rosaceae- What's goin' on??!!!

  
  


SWAT- You have just violated the rights of your dignity. 


End file.
